The itch you cannot scratch

"What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there,
like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad." (Morpheus from The Matrix)

This is a beautiful fictional representation of existential anxiety. The pain that has no name. It is the pain that calls us deeper. It is the formless question that demands an answer. It is the feeling that causes you to be inwardly skeptical of your boss, your business, your country and "the way things are" in society. It is the siren call to be yourself, to discover what is unknown in your innerspace, and in outerspace. It is awful. And glorious.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom the work that God has done from beginning to end." Ecc 3:11

Become who you were meant to be. Start your journey by exploring. Do not be content with unsatisfactory answers - this "desire for truth" has always motivated the mystic, the scientist, the artist, the mother and the inventor. You have mastery over yourself if nothing else, and the world owes you nothing. Find a dream, even if you have none. End of old quotes. Oh hang on, one last golden oldie:

Being uncomfortable is good - it forces one to change. For many people, it is only when the pain of their problem becomes overwhelming, that they will consider change. Most people who turn up at AA have been forced there by powerful unpleasant events, essentially, a catastrophe.

Maybe you have heard it all before. Maybe you have all the answers... But are you having some fun as well? Consider "the good things of life" - are you REALLY enjoying some of the things on this list? Can you take moments in your day to enjoy the little things such as a cup of coffee, a chat with a colleague or a beautiful picture? In the past this unhappiness was called "melancholia." Today it is called being alive. And we numb our feelings with pills, then wonder why we are unable to feel the normal highs and lows of daily life. Get this straight: Pills numb normal feelings. (I do accept that there are cases where it is medically neccessary.)

The good things of life (please add your own)

A nice cup of tea or coffee

a walk in pleasant surroundings

A pleasant conversation

The movies

A swim in cold water

Doing some art or a craft

Building something

A laugh with a friend

A few days away somewhere

A good meal out

A nap

You get the idea. If you cannot enjoy small activities such as these on a daily basis, you are numb. And you need to seek help to get better.

Search for spiritual enlightenment, for more than you have at present, for happiness, for whatever the future holds. For better days and better friends. And maybe a better career - at LEAST one that brings you a measure of happiness and fulfillment. Fun is out there, and it is looking for you (to misquote the Matrix).